The break up

I am swearing off games of chance.

With AK, I flipped a coin whether to hook up or not. With BS, I flipped another whether to meet his friends over the weekend. I made a bet with Sunshine about not having sex without commitment. I lost, and now, she's making a bet that if and when JS and I get back together, it would last for 3 months tops. I jokingly said I'd give us a month.

Which gets me to thinking - am I foolish to let chance take over my life? I feel that life brought me to where I am now. I certainly believe that the forces of the universe are consipiring to bring me my hearts greatest desires.

I think it's time to get real.

Last night I saw The Breakup featuring Jennifer Aniston with some friends from work. All were bored and didn't like the movie, but stayed until the end anyway.

I liked it. In some ways it reminded me of how JS and I broke up and how we are today - ending up as friends.

We even have regular catch-up dates that would include dinner and movies and sometimes, a few drinks in some bar in Malate. Safe and neutral grounds for us to share news about ourselves without talking about the most intriguing question in our minds - how did we end up here? That last scene is so surreal I swear it is exactly like that whenever JS and I bump into each other somewhere.

Someone once asked me if I believe in this saying:

"When two lovers end up as friends, it is either they are still in love with each other, or they never were."

I haven't formulated an answer yet. One thing I know, I should not call Sunshine's bet despite the telltale signs of me and JS easily slipping back to dating again and seeing each other exclusively.

It would have been so easy; could have been a bit too perfect. One tiny step forward and we're back to where we were before, and my life could be smooth-sailing in the relationship department again. Except for that one llittle tiny voice in my head, repeating the mantra "...or they never were...or they never were."

No more games. No more bets.