push the button

There. I pushed the "send" button. I am keeping mum until it's time to break the news.

Message sent. Card drawn. Die cast.

Interesting. Next 5 days will be the quietest ever. Calm before the storm?

best

Found the best coffee on the planet, and it's being served 250 kilometers north of Manila...

Kaffee Klatsch...

everlasting search

I've always wondered what the plant that produces the everlasting buds...

Still an unsuccessful search so far.

gestures that mean something

Huge is me giving you a key to my place.

Much bigger, though, is you using that key.

It wasn't such a bad week, afterall.

some sappy dialogue

To the question of the searcher, "If we were stranded in bad weather and got a single room with only one bed, what do you think would we end up doing...?"

Searcher # 3 answered:

"We talk....At night when the lights are out, people tell each other things they'd never tell each other during the day. I want to hear everything - about your childhood, favorite color, what you want from a man, what you want from life...."

Guess who won.....

really weird day

You know I'm really having a very bad day when I cry over scenes of a supposedly-funny teen series that went off-the-air after 43 episodes. I used to, and still do, love this show...

How else will I explain this?

Truth be told...am having more than a bad day...it's turning out to be a very bad week. Started with my friends bailing out on the Baguio trip, plus some really negative vibes at work that make me want to do remote-daily (as opposed to my usual remote Fridays)...add to that my stupid insurer seemed to have mixed up some things they're now denying coverage on some of Halle's vital and expensive accessories, which ended with me dropping the L-word (nope, not what you think...I meant lawyer...) Hey they got my money for the past 3 years without hearing anything from me.

Speaking of lawyers...or law students....crunch time for finals week. Good luck na lang. Promised to get out of the way and am almost able to do that. Few more days...

A piece of good news though - remember my missing cleaning guy? He's back! About time. And my place is ready for a good scrub.

take 5

nosey rabbit fell down the hole

No I'm not. Really.

It's just that even if I try not to process the information coming in, like pieces of a puzzle they come together and form patterns that look, well, clear and obvious. So I try to ignore the patterns, but then, when the mossaic's completely shown in front of you, without any effort on your part, it counts for something. You can't keep your eyes shut forever.

I've been lied to. Yeah, somehow I knew all along, but I decided to not keep asking questions and let the matter rest. It gave me some false sense of peace.

Unfortunately, peace is temporary, the illusion shattered by one seemingly honest and innocent remark that started with "Oh, did you know....?" I knew, but as always, I ignored and erred on the side of, well, friendship and trust.

Still, I am a rabbit and I try to keep the peace. I didn't want to probe for fear of disrupting the balance and harmony of my world. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, as they say. It doesn't bother me much, really, as it would have bothered me more if I were the one creating all these webs of lies and deceit. Besides, what would have happened if the truth were told early on? Nothing.

That's not true. I would have appreciated the honesty. I would have applauded the integrity. And more importantly, the truth would have spared me from doubting.

It would have set me free.

before i sleep

I'll consider Darnel's advice on how to improve my sleeping habits....

*home is home. Bringing work home is a no-no.

*caffeine does not exist.

*do yoga.

I was hoping he'd give me an alternative to Melatonin or a prescription for Stilnox....

funnity again

Several things.....

*imagine your first asking you for relationship advice.

*4 out of 7 is 57.14285% ....statistically speaking, that's a lot...engineering school takes on a whole new meaning given the boys as the sample...

*Count one out, one uncertain, and a girl and two couples and you have...? yep, wonderful wonderful break!!!

*I ditched several already, and by the looks of it, my calendar doesnt have any more weddings I will attend this year (ditching 2 more)....Wow, a year without weddings.

* and on a really boring night, I rediscover CYBERSTALKING. Sunshine, you'll be so proud of me...what can I say - I learned from the best !

friends who stay

and friends who go....

...been contemplating writing something about friends who know and friends who don't yet know, and those who knew and decided to stay away.

It started with R asking whether he should tell D. Refer to previous blog - D is a college friend who recently had his second child. We, the boys, are ninongs for his first. Well, R is itching to tell D and the boys have different stands (obviously).

Then there's my chat with Jon, who said he'd lost some friends along the way. I am fortunate, that most friends who now know remain my friends. I may have lost a few, but the ones who stayed are enough. They're all I needed.

Of course, there's the matter of those who have yet to know. I guess there's a pecking order to these things, call it level of friendship (to borrow Sunshine's). So I wonder, if D is a good enough friend to have us stand as godparents to his firstborn, level of friendship says he has to know.

So I support R for his wanting to tell D about himself, despite the protestations of M and K, who, by the way, both think R's coming out to D is tantamount to their own. I disagreed, of course, although something tells me it's more about me wanting D to know about me by association; that would make it easier for me to break the news this time, though am uncertain after this point if he'd like to hear it at all.

And if D stays away after finding out? I can't speak for the boys but I've said it - I have enough. Icing on the cake.

Word of caution: timing is everything.