What the hell are you doing
Jogging at half past midnight for crying out loud
Am starting to really not like you
Damn it!
So why am I still so much attracted to you in spite of everything
Maybe I should ditch the treadmill and jog along Leviste instead
But that would be crazy
Why go the extra mile just to chance bumping with you
When all I have to do is keep eye contact at the gym
And maybe smile a little
Or nod, whatever, as long as I keep your gaze longer than 3 seconds
Really crazy
Was going 60 on a street that requires 20
Went down to zero faster than a falling apple, my golly
And guess what?
I drove around and 'round until I saw you again
Only to cross paths with you after I've stopped and given up
Thought I've had enough
Seems like I'll never have enough
Damn
Not enough of you
Enough with this folly
But not enough with you
Damn this heart
Or is it the heart or the weaker ego?
Whatever it is, damn it, I have to go
Go
Can't go
Not now
Maybe not ever
Maybe I shouldn't at all
The irony is that the the easier it gets for me to get to you
The faster I know this will end
The higher the certainty
That when I have you I'd lose you
And in turn lose myself in the process
Do I want that?
Fall for you and lose you in an instant?
Yes I can hold your gaze for more than 3 seconds, without flinching
Yes I can get your attention to be your next guy, a few weeks maybe
But I can't be just the next guy
I don't want to be temporary
A flicker unnoticed in the daylight
Too weak at dusk, too weak at dawn
So here I go
Too strong-willed for anyone but you
Too clear about everything but my feelings for you
Too happy to be not with you
Too sad to be with everyone but you
Damn streets of Salcedo
I'll jog when I'm ready
But will I ever be ready for you?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Saturday night (non)fever
I am writing this using my new SE P990i, too tamad to turn on my notebook and get online. Nice gadget. You'd think tech slut that I am, I'd be hard to impress by the new stuff coming out there like the grains off a thresher, but this baby rocks!
Oh well, enough with this new smartphone. Am sure you'll find ways to disagree with me and I don't care.
Back to blogging then. It was funny how me, Sunshine and apparently Rye were all in birthday parties last night - separately of course. I wonder where Foxy was?
JT's post-birthday bash at a KTV in Jupiter. Met his few friends and they were very nice. Kim sang well. My deal with JT was that I'd bring AQ along only if he won't ask me to sing KTV. So my vocal chords (my non-existent vocal chords) were safe last night.
And party night won't be complete without dropping by the usual visit to the clubs. Tonight it's Government; been going there again a lot lately, not that am complaining. I used to like Bed more, but now, am not too sure if there's a difference at all. Same crowd, same faces, different go-go boys and bartenders (or are they?)
Tonight it's Madonna. Grrr I haven't even completed my Madonna playlist on kikopod. i knew I lacked about a hundred more tracks. Maybe it's time I kiss JS' ass and ask him to get me MP3s from his DJ friend?
Listening to Michael Bublé now. Kikopod is just 25% utilized and I can't even listen to all these songs in one day. Oh I really have to organize my playlists, given that very recently I got my car integration kit for the iPod. And notebook needs some cleanup, too.
Slept for 6 hours max. Called Dad but phone's off. Called Mom instead and got a lecture on why condo living is bad for me (like, 31st floor and an earthquake is not a good combination in my mother's mind). Oh did you know I had a fire scare last night before I left for Gov? While brushing my teeth I noticed smoke coming out of the light bulbs! I recently changed my lighting to something warmer, to set the mood at night. My immediate thought? I might have overloaded my fuse!
Called security, who in turn called engineering. Well to cut it short, false alarm. Apparently they were fumigating the basement and smoke tends to rise. In my case, too many ducts led to my electrical layout, and boom! It's as if they smoked my unit and not the basement. Am tempted to ask with my usual sarcastic flare why the 31st floor is getting a lot of the fumes, but stopped myself. Who knows if the floor below mine is getting less? It's not always about me, I know.
Back to clubbing. Met some cute Caucasian guy named Martin or something, but am supposed to hook up with HR and mumbled my excuses as I finished off my Absolut. Good thing HR came earlier, otherwise I would have left with someone else in tow.
Hey, it's Madonnathon 3 and place is jampacked with raging hormones. Don't do well in crowds like this. So HR and me stayed at the back, vodka on our hands, and started to makeout. Of course, saw lots of familiar faces from the gym and I know this will cost me a lot in terms of knowing glances, both subtle (highly appreciated guys) and obvious (please stop staring at me and mind your friggin' pose).
Anyway, night ended with me wanting more, not that am complaining again, can't complain at all. I don't have the right to gripe at my misfortune, right, Sunshine?
Ok. Gotta get some Vietnamese noodles before my workout. If I can still workout tonight, with all that working out we did earlier. Geez.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Imbento
Consider this:
Chance favors the prepared mind, and chance favors those who persist.
Success happens ready or not, but so does failure.
Then be prepared and persist always, for the greatest loss comes to those who do nothing.
Pinagtagpi-tagpi ko na lang. Wrote this out of frustration at how my organization has been responding to growth and embracing change. It seems that some people will always have the mentality that the same pill will work for everyone.
As my favorite Peter Drucker once wrote, no matter how similar two business problems may seem alike, there will always be different solutions to each situation. It is the true essense of management - the ability to sense change ahead and adapt in advance.
Sometimes, I wanted to just quit when thinking of the things I can never change. Until I remember there are more things in me that I could change, more things around me that will change as a result of a little change in myself. Then I remember one of my life's purposes that I wrote when I was 14:
.
Chance favors the prepared mind, and chance favors those who persist.
Success happens ready or not, but so does failure.
Then be prepared and persist always, for the greatest loss comes to those who do nothing.
Pinagtagpi-tagpi ko na lang. Wrote this out of frustration at how my organization has been responding to growth and embracing change. It seems that some people will always have the mentality that the same pill will work for everyone.
As my favorite Peter Drucker once wrote, no matter how similar two business problems may seem alike, there will always be different solutions to each situation. It is the true essense of management - the ability to sense change ahead and adapt in advance.
Sometimes, I wanted to just quit when thinking of the things I can never change. Until I remember there are more things in me that I could change, more things around me that will change as a result of a little change in myself. Then I remember one of my life's purposes that I wrote when I was 14:
To make a difference.
How can I quit now, when I know that what I am doing is making a difference?
.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Matching two caps
At the risk of provoking the mapanlait side of Sunshine, who's been asking me (without success) to take her out of my favorite blogs link, am doing this one more time: the Horoscope Romantic Compatibility test. This time, Gym Crush.
Never thought of doing this for GC until I realized he's a Capricorn, too. Looks promising, and with good reason. Panalo. It's now up to me to make the next move, and am really really temped to promote my eye candy to full time love interest. I'll probably write another blog on this one, just so Sunshine won't get more confused than she already is.
Capricorn & Capricorn
When two Capricorns join together in a love match, they create and contribute to a whole new, exciting element in one another's lives. The symbol of Capricorn is the Sea Goat, the animal always on an upward climb from the sea to the mountain summit. This is true of the Capricorn couple who magnifies their energy and strength and climb the staircase to a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship. But, all of this ambition and lust for life is bound to make these Goats lock horns, and a dispute between two tempers like these is not to be taken lightly.
When it comes to running a household or maintaining a healthy relationship, this couple can really take care of business. So much so, that they will have to be conscious of finding setting aside time for recreation and fight off the hardworking attitude that comes with the Capricorn lifestyle. Loyal and charitable, this couple is loving and devoted without being overbearing, which is a desirable mixture for each partner.
Capricorn is ruled by the Planet Saturn. Saturn's main focus is on achieving goals through hard work. This planet also focuses on Capricorn's authoritative side and desire for social status. This couple is very career-minded. Their focus and intense energy can cause them to seem harsh or inflexible, but a Capricorn partner is not taken aback by such an attitude. Each communicates well and enjoys getting things accomplished together. This couple has a great capacity for love, but is not always as emotionally intertwined as other couples of the Zodiac. Both enjoy confronting a difficult issue, but also relish the space to pursue individual interests.
Capricorn is an Earth Sign. Interests lie in the material goods that indicate lofty social status. Capricorns are willing to work hard to make their house a home, and they aren't afraid to show off the fruits of their labor. Mundane activities and responsibilities are a staple of Capricorn's daily schedule, so it's important for these two to do something fun or silly every once in a while. At times, the Capricorn-Capricorn relationship could use a bit of lightening up!
Capricorn is a Cardinal Sign. This couple delights in initiating new activities and following them through. Always conservative, this couple spends their time and their money in practical applications and looks for the tangible results. The unyielding qualities of the Sea Goat workhorse make this duo a knockout couple as well as intimate friends.
What's the best aspect of the Capricorn-Capricorn relationship? It's their dedication to taking care of their personal and shared responsibilities. Theirs is a strong relationship, and the sturdy construction is built to last. As long as each partner remembers to laugh every once in a while, this will be a successful relationship.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
As promised
Finally able to upload this one. This is the promised progression of the bulb I got for my place, just to increase the number of living things inside he he he.
Took a while to get all these, but patience paid off I guess. Although by now, all but one bloom have wilted. That means I'll have to buy another one while this one gets the spot at the bathroom window.
Been thinking more and more about being alone, that there seem to be organisms that are best kept solitary, and there are those that survive only by living in community. Am I solitary? Am I better off alone?
Alone, but not lonely.
Ewan, 13 signs daw
Lifted this off from Sunshine's blog, apparently she also got it from an email forwarded by Foxy. Let's assess my current situation, shall we?
13. when you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up but you miss them already when it was just two minutes ago
Yeah right. During the first two weeks, we're talking hours of airtime here. But nowadays we're reduced to SMS, and even that I no longer crave for. Score: 0
12. you read their texts over and over again
Nah, though I tend to save the SMS on a separate folder...am about to delete the folder, though. Taking up too much space. I'm saving the MMS pictures and videos that I'm sure would cost a fortune someday ;-) Score: 0
11. You walk really slow whenever you're with them
Not really. He's taller, with longer limbs. No matter how slow he walks I'll still have to walk double time to catch up. Score: 0
10. you feel shy whenever you're with them
Huh? Huh? Anong shy-shy? Score: 0
9. when you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster
Only when I've had my 5th cup of coffee for the day that this happens, so yeah, at some point, after that cup and if & when I remember him, my heart starts to beat faster. Sige na nga. Score: 1
8. you smile when you hear their voice
Makes me listen to him singing over mobile phone, so can't help but smile with what my friend Regol calls kakornihan and JT thinks kakakilig. Score: 1
7. when you look at him you do not see the other people around you...you only see him
Most of the time we're the only two people in the room, so yeah, can't argue with this one. Score: 1
6. you start listening to slow songs while thinking of them
Well, I once again listened to Jed Madela's on my Nano because of DA...Score: 1
5. they become ALL you think about
Not ALL, there are more important things on my mind most times, like when's the new Sony Ericsson P990 i coming out. Well, it's out and I'VE GOT ONE! Score: 0
4. you get high just from their scent
sent my undershirt he used down to the cleaners over the weekend, though I admit I tend to smell whatever he used up from my underwear drawer a few times Score: 1
3. you realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about him
yeah, when it was beginning pa lang. But not lately, I start to think about things that won't make this work and I lose whatever smile I have right away. Score: 0
2. you would do anything for him
no way. Score: 0
1. while reading this there was one person on your mind the whole time
siempre naman. why? eh this assessment is all about DA, so I've thought about him at least 13 times this past half-hour while writing this. Score: 1
Score on "Yes, I'm inlove" = 6 out of 13
Score on "Not at all" = 7 out of 13
Well, almost...try again next week!
13. when you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up but you miss them already when it was just two minutes ago
Yeah right. During the first two weeks, we're talking hours of airtime here. But nowadays we're reduced to SMS, and even that I no longer crave for. Score: 0
12. you read their texts over and over again
Nah, though I tend to save the SMS on a separate folder...am about to delete the folder, though. Taking up too much space. I'm saving the MMS pictures and videos that I'm sure would cost a fortune someday ;-) Score: 0
11. You walk really slow whenever you're with them
Not really. He's taller, with longer limbs. No matter how slow he walks I'll still have to walk double time to catch up. Score: 0
10. you feel shy whenever you're with them
Huh? Huh? Anong shy-shy? Score: 0
9. when you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster
Only when I've had my 5th cup of coffee for the day that this happens, so yeah, at some point, after that cup and if & when I remember him, my heart starts to beat faster. Sige na nga. Score: 1
8. you smile when you hear their voice
Makes me listen to him singing over mobile phone, so can't help but smile with what my friend Regol calls kakornihan and JT thinks kakakilig. Score: 1
7. when you look at him you do not see the other people around you...you only see him
Most of the time we're the only two people in the room, so yeah, can't argue with this one. Score: 1
6. you start listening to slow songs while thinking of them
Well, I once again listened to Jed Madela's on my Nano because of DA...Score: 1
5. they become ALL you think about
Not ALL, there are more important things on my mind most times, like when's the new Sony Ericsson P990 i coming out. Well, it's out and I'VE GOT ONE! Score: 0
4. you get high just from their scent
sent my undershirt he used down to the cleaners over the weekend, though I admit I tend to smell whatever he used up from my underwear drawer a few times Score: 1
3. you realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about him
yeah, when it was beginning pa lang. But not lately, I start to think about things that won't make this work and I lose whatever smile I have right away. Score: 0
2. you would do anything for him
no way. Score: 0
1. while reading this there was one person on your mind the whole time
siempre naman. why? eh this assessment is all about DA, so I've thought about him at least 13 times this past half-hour while writing this. Score: 1
Score on "Yes, I'm inlove" = 6 out of 13
Score on "Not at all" = 7 out of 13
Well, almost...try again next week!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
New blog: The Shower
Am starting a new blog here that will be my exclusive song book.
Okay, okay, these are just lyrics of songs I liked, songs that made me feel something when I hear them.
What can you do? Sentimental one here. Maybe later I'll write why I loved each song, but for now, wala lang.
Okay, okay, these are just lyrics of songs I liked, songs that made me feel something when I hear them.
What can you do? Sentimental one here. Maybe later I'll write why I loved each song, but for now, wala lang.
Questions
"Have you ever stopped asking if you have found the one and instead asked yourself if you were the one?"
This was the time when I asked Darnel about how do I know if DA is the one. He threw this at me with the tone he usually uses for me when he's exasperated for my acting like a third-grader.
He's right, of course. I've never asked this myself, if I was ever "the one" for the few relationships I've had - JS, AK, JL...maybe even DA. I mean, if I ever was the one, why didn't any of them last?
Not that DA is a closed book, but am getting frustrated minute by minute when thinking about what doesn't work for us.
It's a case of outside looking in, I guess. Selfish that I am, it was always about me. But still, at the rate my world is moving, it's hardly surprising I think this way.
Options. Effort.Self-preservation.
The first 2 I am willing to compromise on, relax my assumptions a little. But self-preservation? Isn't that our primary instinct? It's like we're hard-wired to protect ourselves from harm.
So I guess I'll be asking "Are you the one?" for a while.
This was the time when I asked Darnel about how do I know if DA is the one. He threw this at me with the tone he usually uses for me when he's exasperated for my acting like a third-grader.
He's right, of course. I've never asked this myself, if I was ever "the one" for the few relationships I've had - JS, AK, JL...maybe even DA. I mean, if I ever was the one, why didn't any of them last?
Not that DA is a closed book, but am getting frustrated minute by minute when thinking about what doesn't work for us.
It's a case of outside looking in, I guess. Selfish that I am, it was always about me. But still, at the rate my world is moving, it's hardly surprising I think this way.
Options. Effort.Self-preservation.
The first 2 I am willing to compromise on, relax my assumptions a little. But self-preservation? Isn't that our primary instinct? It's like we're hard-wired to protect ourselves from harm.
So I guess I'll be asking "Are you the one?" for a while.
Reasons why I like you:
Reasons why I like you:
- You think I'm the best thing that ever happened to you, the birthday present you've been waiting for since you've turned 3.
- You argue with me because you wanted to see me fume and grope for words, essentially to see me get passionate about something.
- You argue more until I have no other choice but silence you with a kiss.
- You tell me all about your past because you don't want there to be secrets between us, and you desperately wanted to make it work this time.
- You wanted me to hear you sing in public love songs that I told you I liked - well, using the mobile phone.
- You share your weird taste for tuna sashimi...from a Japanese fastfood!
- You take pictures of our rumpled jeans on the couch.
- You think Michael Buble is soothing and relaxing.
- You think my choice of t-shirts is elitist, but loved my shirts anyway.
- You find my mouthwash funny, like candy.
- You liked my yoga mat.
- You hate coffee but support me with my Starbucks addiction anyway.
- You liked wearing my sando, despite its size being a tad too small (or short for your height). I liked the way your scent sticks to it - so much so I won't throw it to the laundry basket for days to come.
- You love to cuddle and kiss and cuddle and kiss.
- You make me your priority, not just an option, one of many.
- Just when I am about to give up on you, you do something that blows my mind away, melts my heart and totally makes me believe that we're really something together.
- You are good enough to introduce to my crazy bunch of friends without any doubt that they'd like you and adore you and without fear that they would make lait the moment you're away from hearing distance.
- You are who you are, so much different from me, yet so lovable and adorable I could forget how much farther we should be moving away, not closer, if only for these differences. Or is it the other way around? That we are bound to be together because our differences make us stronger as a team?
I don't know if I am even liking you for the right reasons. Maybe it's too early to even think about being together, but I'll be damned if I deny that I am thinking about you that way.
- You think I'm the best thing that ever happened to you, the birthday present you've been waiting for since you've turned 3.
- You argue with me because you wanted to see me fume and grope for words, essentially to see me get passionate about something.
- You argue more until I have no other choice but silence you with a kiss.
- You tell me all about your past because you don't want there to be secrets between us, and you desperately wanted to make it work this time.
- You wanted me to hear you sing in public love songs that I told you I liked - well, using the mobile phone.
- You share your weird taste for tuna sashimi...from a Japanese fastfood!
- You take pictures of our rumpled jeans on the couch.
- You think Michael Buble is soothing and relaxing.
- You think my choice of t-shirts is elitist, but loved my shirts anyway.
- You find my mouthwash funny, like candy.
- You liked my yoga mat.
- You hate coffee but support me with my Starbucks addiction anyway.
- You liked wearing my sando, despite its size being a tad too small (or short for your height). I liked the way your scent sticks to it - so much so I won't throw it to the laundry basket for days to come.
- You love to cuddle and kiss and cuddle and kiss.
- You make me your priority, not just an option, one of many.
- Just when I am about to give up on you, you do something that blows my mind away, melts my heart and totally makes me believe that we're really something together.
- You are good enough to introduce to my crazy bunch of friends without any doubt that they'd like you and adore you and without fear that they would make lait the moment you're away from hearing distance.
- You are who you are, so much different from me, yet so lovable and adorable I could forget how much farther we should be moving away, not closer, if only for these differences. Or is it the other way around? That we are bound to be together because our differences make us stronger as a team?
I don't know if I am even liking you for the right reasons. Maybe it's too early to even think about being together, but I'll be damned if I deny that I am thinking about you that way.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Gadget slut
If I don't get my hands on that new Sony Ericsson P990i soon, I'd die.
Can somebody remind me how the law of supply and demand works? Supplier said there's only 5 units available this weekend as they're still waiting for the shipments, and price is a bit too high even for me...So why can't I wait another week or month before reserving one for myself?
There you go, Prof. Beltran! Economics 101 out of the window.
See what my new obssession is at:
http://www.sonyericsson.com/spg.jsp?cc=gb&lc=en&ver=4000&template=pp1_loader&php=php1_10336&zone=pp&lm=pp1&pid=10336
Honestly, the rush I got when supplier called me that the unit is available is much more satisfying than seeing DA again this weekend. Whoa...what is wrong with me?
Can somebody remind me how the law of supply and demand works? Supplier said there's only 5 units available this weekend as they're still waiting for the shipments, and price is a bit too high even for me...So why can't I wait another week or month before reserving one for myself?
There you go, Prof. Beltran! Economics 101 out of the window.
See what my new obssession is at:
http://www.sonyericsson.com/spg.jsp?cc=gb&lc=en&ver=4000&template=pp1_loader&php=php1_10336&zone=pp&lm=pp1&pid=10336
Honestly, the rush I got when supplier called me that the unit is available is much more satisfying than seeing DA again this weekend. Whoa...what is wrong with me?
New blog : The Adventures of Bitch 'n Brat
What's wrong with Blogger? I can't upload photos of the plant I promised a blog back...
Anyway, Weng left for the States tonight and we're left to mind the house: me, Darnel and Denz. Told Weng that the last time she left us to play on our own, Darnel mistreated me...and she fell for it! Now I had to log every fucking instance Darnel is mean/rude/bully-ish to me.
Watch out!
I'm creating a new blog just for this. Call it Bitch & Brat. Why so? Darnel calls me Brat, I call him Bitch. So watch out for my new blog, a logbook of instances Bitch was mean and rude to Brat, and vice versa.
Itchy fingers on the keyboard...uh oh...
Anyway, Weng left for the States tonight and we're left to mind the house: me, Darnel and Denz. Told Weng that the last time she left us to play on our own, Darnel mistreated me...and she fell for it! Now I had to log every fucking instance Darnel is mean/rude/bully-ish to me.
Watch out!
I'm creating a new blog just for this. Call it Bitch & Brat. Why so? Darnel calls me Brat, I call him Bitch. So watch out for my new blog, a logbook of instances Bitch was mean and rude to Brat, and vice versa.
Itchy fingers on the keyboard...uh oh...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
JT's compatibility tests
Over buckets of Strong Ice, JT let me in on his little secret - he's not pursuing my best friend AQ because he knows they are astrologically incompatible. He said the first thing he tries to find out when meeting someone is his astrological sign, and only when the signs tell him they were compatible enough would he agree on a date.
Well, horoscopes as fun. Same way JT analyzed his past relationships, here are my results:
Me and JS: balanced, hardly romantic
Me and AK: highly compatible, slow in development, honest
Me and JL: opposites, both uncompromising but tend to create an unbreakable bond
And me and DA? We're polar opposites, but JT seems to thinks we're going to be okay. Below are the results.
Libra & Capricorn
When Libra and Capricorn come together in a love match, they can be a good couple -- if they can uncover their sometimes difficult to find similarities. On the surface, these two couldn't be more different: While Capricorn is quiet and unassuming, Libra tends to be a social butterfly, delighting in visiting with other people. Capricorn is concerned with hard work as a means toward career advancement and recognition; Libra is concerned with beauty, art and balance in life and relationships. This is not to say, however, that there is no meeting point for these two; if they are coming from a base of mutual love and respect, they can work to find their common ground.
When these two Signs work together on a project or a problem, it works best if they have pre-set roles to fulfill, as they both like to take charge. Once their expectations are defined, their approaches are once again quite different: Libra is pondering and intellectual, but Capricorn sees the value of doing things the hard way if it leads to certain success. Once the partners understand each other's style, their methods help them to achieve together what they could not achieve alone.
Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love) and Capricorn is ruled by the Planet Saturn (Karma). Venus is a soft, receptive, feminine Planet, while Saturn is cold, hard and masculine. These Planets don't have much in common so it's important for Libra and Capricorn to work through their differences. Venus encourages Libra to slow down to take in the beauty and romance life offers; this can come across as laziness to Capricorn, whose Saturn influence lends them that dogged determination to push forward against all odds and succeed at the goals they set for themselves. These two Planets can work at cross-purposes, creating antagonism, strife and repressed emotions unless Libra and Capricorn make a concerted effort to understand and accept one another's focus in life. Capricorn must take care not to discourage Libra from their natural enthusiasm and optimism, and Libra must put their natural diplomacy to use in order to maintain balance with Capricorn.
Libra is an Air Sign and Capricorn is an Earth Sign. Libra relies on their intellect in life; their sensibilities are attuned to aesthetics, a subject on which a true Libra always has lots of opinions. Capricorns rely on brain power as well, but of a different sort; they search for the pragmatic method in all they do, and may not feel they have time to dabble in aesthetics. If these two can learn to work as a team, they could form two sides of a coin, so to speak.
Libra and Capricorn are both Cardinal Signs. Both Signs are initiators, but they have such widely varying work ethics that they work better when they each have a particular, well-defined role. When it comes to conflict, Libra will be the first to back down, which will appease Capricorn (who likes to be right!). It's important for both partners to understand that compromise is they key to their success.
What's the best aspect of the Libra-Capricorn relationship? They each bring their own qualities to the relationship. Once they allow one another to be themselves - rather than getting in one another's way - they can blend well to make a whole. Theirs is a challenging relationship, but they can learn from each other if they maintain the effort.
Well, horoscopes as fun. Same way JT analyzed his past relationships, here are my results:
Me and JS: balanced, hardly romantic
Me and AK: highly compatible, slow in development, honest
Me and JL: opposites, both uncompromising but tend to create an unbreakable bond
And me and DA? We're polar opposites, but JT seems to thinks we're going to be okay. Below are the results.
Libra & Capricorn
When Libra and Capricorn come together in a love match, they can be a good couple -- if they can uncover their sometimes difficult to find similarities. On the surface, these two couldn't be more different: While Capricorn is quiet and unassuming, Libra tends to be a social butterfly, delighting in visiting with other people. Capricorn is concerned with hard work as a means toward career advancement and recognition; Libra is concerned with beauty, art and balance in life and relationships. This is not to say, however, that there is no meeting point for these two; if they are coming from a base of mutual love and respect, they can work to find their common ground.
When these two Signs work together on a project or a problem, it works best if they have pre-set roles to fulfill, as they both like to take charge. Once their expectations are defined, their approaches are once again quite different: Libra is pondering and intellectual, but Capricorn sees the value of doing things the hard way if it leads to certain success. Once the partners understand each other's style, their methods help them to achieve together what they could not achieve alone.
Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love) and Capricorn is ruled by the Planet Saturn (Karma). Venus is a soft, receptive, feminine Planet, while Saturn is cold, hard and masculine. These Planets don't have much in common so it's important for Libra and Capricorn to work through their differences. Venus encourages Libra to slow down to take in the beauty and romance life offers; this can come across as laziness to Capricorn, whose Saturn influence lends them that dogged determination to push forward against all odds and succeed at the goals they set for themselves. These two Planets can work at cross-purposes, creating antagonism, strife and repressed emotions unless Libra and Capricorn make a concerted effort to understand and accept one another's focus in life. Capricorn must take care not to discourage Libra from their natural enthusiasm and optimism, and Libra must put their natural diplomacy to use in order to maintain balance with Capricorn.
Libra is an Air Sign and Capricorn is an Earth Sign. Libra relies on their intellect in life; their sensibilities are attuned to aesthetics, a subject on which a true Libra always has lots of opinions. Capricorns rely on brain power as well, but of a different sort; they search for the pragmatic method in all they do, and may not feel they have time to dabble in aesthetics. If these two can learn to work as a team, they could form two sides of a coin, so to speak.
Libra and Capricorn are both Cardinal Signs. Both Signs are initiators, but they have such widely varying work ethics that they work better when they each have a particular, well-defined role. When it comes to conflict, Libra will be the first to back down, which will appease Capricorn (who likes to be right!). It's important for both partners to understand that compromise is they key to their success.
What's the best aspect of the Libra-Capricorn relationship? They each bring their own qualities to the relationship. Once they allow one another to be themselves - rather than getting in one another's way - they can blend well to make a whole. Theirs is a challenging relationship, but they can learn from each other if they maintain the effort.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
What a month can do to you
Yesterday marked my first month back to condo-living. Still unable to find the lamp that suits me. Was successful finding "the" plant that would liven up the space - a red bulb that will soon open its petals.
I'll post photos showing progression soon.
Are the pieces falling into the right places? Seems like they are. I hope they are. They are.
It took me a month to find the right plant to spend with the rest of my lease. It's taking me longer looking for that lamp, though the rugs I've a fairly good idea where to find.
Imagine how much longer will it take me finding the right partner.
I do not mind waiting. I may be impatient at times (okay, most of the time), but I certainly know a good wait when I see one.
Are you worth it? I told my friends you are. I know you are. You are.
Will it last? We'll certainly try to make it last. I will try to make it last. Will you? I know you will, too. You will.
I'll post photos showing progression soon.
Are the pieces falling into the right places? Seems like they are. I hope they are. They are.
It took me a month to find the right plant to spend with the rest of my lease. It's taking me longer looking for that lamp, though the rugs I've a fairly good idea where to find.
Imagine how much longer will it take me finding the right partner.
I do not mind waiting. I may be impatient at times (okay, most of the time), but I certainly know a good wait when I see one.
Are you worth it? I told my friends you are. I know you are. You are.
Will it last? We'll certainly try to make it last. I will try to make it last. Will you? I know you will, too. You will.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Ode to the one i wish for
Moving in opposite directions.
Living in parallel universes.
Will our paths ever intersect?
Once we collide, what will happen to us?
You loved too much and got played at.
You were hurt by the one you loved.
I played and held back.
I hurt and lost the one I loved.
We both got burned.
Now you want to hold back.
I just want to love forever.
You are scared....jaded and scared.
I was jaded, still scared, but willing to be scarred again.
Just one last try, hoping it will be different this time.
When we collide, what will happen to us?
Will I lose myself? Will you fall in love?
We may never find the answer.
Parallels do not intersect.
Opposites do not meet.
The miracle is love.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Simple arithmetic
Some formula I'm using to pre-screen dates:
Plus 10 minus 5 my age.
Simply put - I'd date only those who are between 25 to 40 years old. Anyone below is considered a minor and above that...hmmm let's not go there.
Other criteria - consult Foxy and Sunshine. Officially, they're now my date screeners. Gives Sunshine something to do than mope and Foxy some new project to distract her from her love interest.
Oh not to mention, f-hags.
Plus 10 minus 5 my age.
Simply put - I'd date only those who are between 25 to 40 years old. Anyone below is considered a minor and above that...hmmm let's not go there.
Other criteria - consult Foxy and Sunshine. Officially, they're now my date screeners. Gives Sunshine something to do than mope and Foxy some new project to distract her from her love interest.
Oh not to mention, f-hags.
Sleep debt
Alright. I know that there is still scientific debate whether sleep debt is a real phenomenon, but when you're like me (and thousand others working with schedules that "follow the sun") then you'll agree it's better to convince one's self that yeah, sleep debt is real.
On top of my list is to find sleeping aids (read: Valium, Xanax and Ambien) that will work for me. Tried some over the counter stuff from Foxy and Sunshine but so far, nothing works. Mon suggested melatonin, but again, will it help at all?
I'd try others, like counting sheep. Or maybe "day" dreaming about having GC as a partner. Or DA. Well, I've been unable to get good sleep (despite the fact that I've got lots of time to sleep lately) . By good I meant blissfully uninterrupted sleep. I even turned all my phones off just to be sure, still nothing. I'd toss and turn, literally change positions and even do 360-degree "bed" re-orientation just to get some. Nothing. I'd sleep an hour then wake up disoriented, then sleep for another, cycle becomes vicious I'm ready to scream, until the alarm sets off.
Yes Foxy, I use the alarm just in case I get that elusive sleep and fail to wake up after 24 hours. It's been known to happen, in my past life it seems, that I am able to sleep without interruption for 24 hours. How I wish it would happen again.
Seems like there are things we want we could never have. Just like the daydreams about GC or DA, sleep is now one of them.
Count sheep. Count sheep. Damn it.
On top of my list is to find sleeping aids (read: Valium, Xanax and Ambien) that will work for me. Tried some over the counter stuff from Foxy and Sunshine but so far, nothing works. Mon suggested melatonin, but again, will it help at all?
I'd try others, like counting sheep. Or maybe "day" dreaming about having GC as a partner. Or DA. Well, I've been unable to get good sleep (despite the fact that I've got lots of time to sleep lately) . By good I meant blissfully uninterrupted sleep. I even turned all my phones off just to be sure, still nothing. I'd toss and turn, literally change positions and even do 360-degree "bed" re-orientation just to get some. Nothing. I'd sleep an hour then wake up disoriented, then sleep for another, cycle becomes vicious I'm ready to scream, until the alarm sets off.
Yes Foxy, I use the alarm just in case I get that elusive sleep and fail to wake up after 24 hours. It's been known to happen, in my past life it seems, that I am able to sleep without interruption for 24 hours. How I wish it would happen again.
Seems like there are things we want we could never have. Just like the daydreams about GC or DA, sleep is now one of them.
Count sheep. Count sheep. Damn it.
Monday, August 07, 2006
For the not yet jaded (aka Sunshine)
"Never make someone a priority when that someone only makes you an option."
Saw this on one of my new blog-faves (see comments on one of my rants) and quickly got to writing something about what I see everyday - the seemingly lack of balance in the way most "relationships" are.
Take for instance Sunshine. Everybody I know who knows who she wants knew he's only stringing her for a ride, maybe as an ego-booster. Ugly. That's what we called the loser. But what does she do? She thinks he's everything. Loka, she even ditched what's supposed to be a great Friday night at Cuisine with us her friends, after running into the loko at Chili's. Grrr.
Or JT, crafting his gym habits around AQ's. Oh well, not that AQ even considers JT an option, but the balance is so tipped on AQ's favor that I can't figure out how JT could live with it.
Or PE, tiptoeing around NU because he's so scared that their delicate truce of a relationship (if you can call it that) would be shattered with a single act or word that might offend NU anytime. It's like a ticking timebomb. Hell, it makes me angry to even think about how NU has pulled wool over PE's eyes and made him believe he's in love with someone who's perfect. Perfect, my ass!
Each day, the imbalance grows. I was not immune. I used to be someone's option as well, but I woke up soon enough before the dream turned into a nightmare. Took me sometime to pick myself up again, but I did sooner. In most cases, waking up from this self-inflicted coma follows brief moments of denial plus even longer periods of self-pity, but we all wake up.
I admire Foxy for what she did after realizing she and her lover wanted different things. She ended it, right then and there. Well, almost. The jury's still out for these two, but at least, Foxy had the courage to see the breakup through. Now I heard they were at it again. Well....
Who was it who said that the key to happiness is to find someone who wants you back? Too bad there's a shortage of that around, it seems. Too bad.
Saw this on one of my new blog-faves (see comments on one of my rants) and quickly got to writing something about what I see everyday - the seemingly lack of balance in the way most "relationships" are.
Take for instance Sunshine. Everybody I know who knows who she wants knew he's only stringing her for a ride, maybe as an ego-booster. Ugly. That's what we called the loser. But what does she do? She thinks he's everything. Loka, she even ditched what's supposed to be a great Friday night at Cuisine with us her friends, after running into the loko at Chili's. Grrr.
Or JT, crafting his gym habits around AQ's. Oh well, not that AQ even considers JT an option, but the balance is so tipped on AQ's favor that I can't figure out how JT could live with it.
Or PE, tiptoeing around NU because he's so scared that their delicate truce of a relationship (if you can call it that) would be shattered with a single act or word that might offend NU anytime. It's like a ticking timebomb. Hell, it makes me angry to even think about how NU has pulled wool over PE's eyes and made him believe he's in love with someone who's perfect. Perfect, my ass!
Each day, the imbalance grows. I was not immune. I used to be someone's option as well, but I woke up soon enough before the dream turned into a nightmare. Took me sometime to pick myself up again, but I did sooner. In most cases, waking up from this self-inflicted coma follows brief moments of denial plus even longer periods of self-pity, but we all wake up.
I admire Foxy for what she did after realizing she and her lover wanted different things. She ended it, right then and there. Well, almost. The jury's still out for these two, but at least, Foxy had the courage to see the breakup through. Now I heard they were at it again. Well....
Who was it who said that the key to happiness is to find someone who wants you back? Too bad there's a shortage of that around, it seems. Too bad.
(R)ant and rave one more time
Early morning fastfood turned something else. Ditched the Big Mac for Starbucks' oatmeal cookies and Passion iced tea. Met up with a couple of friends who swear they've never been to Government. My maternal instincts aroused, made a few calls and got us invites to DJ Bam's bash.
At Government, hooked up with friend JT (another JT, not the one I had a thing going a few months back) - same one who's got a big crush on bestfriend AQ, who, by the way, I sent home earlier, bored to death after wandering around aimlessly at Glorietta malls, looking for that damn lamp.
Still at Gov, ducked not a few pickup attempts by hiding behind Jeffy and Carly (not their real names) and pretending to strike a conversation with JT over what passes for house music. His friends are pretty boozed and obviously coupled up, so any hopes of getting introduced for the nth time to one of them got doused by 3 shots of Absolut.
Went out for some not-so-fresh air, saw familiar faces, including bestfriend AQ's ex. Hmmm guy got trimmed down and looked better than the last time (later on, AQ would still say he's still not slim enough to warrant a comeback!). Tried to pretend I didn't see him, but there's only so many directions I could turn my head without hurting my neck.
Got bored by the minute, so I started playing with Jeffy's ... uhmm arm, until JT nudged me and whispered something about sleeping with one of the go-go boys dancing right in front of us. I mumbled something like, "Just one? Done those three in front". True, except that those two at the back look eerily familiar as well. Slut. (Yeah, and Sunshine is her usual wallowing-in-despair-don't-wanna-see-people self and Foxy is, I hope, deep in slumber without the popcorns. I wish you were guys, girls. We'll have real fun doing this together! Oh well...)
Jeffy wants to sleep over, I just wanted to sleep. Had one last shot and left with same kids in tow. Ended up with pancakes at Mc Donald's at 5AM.
And the vicious cycle ends where it started. And continues another.
At Government, hooked up with friend JT (another JT, not the one I had a thing going a few months back) - same one who's got a big crush on bestfriend AQ, who, by the way, I sent home earlier, bored to death after wandering around aimlessly at Glorietta malls, looking for that damn lamp.
Still at Gov, ducked not a few pickup attempts by hiding behind Jeffy and Carly (not their real names) and pretending to strike a conversation with JT over what passes for house music. His friends are pretty boozed and obviously coupled up, so any hopes of getting introduced for the nth time to one of them got doused by 3 shots of Absolut.
Went out for some not-so-fresh air, saw familiar faces, including bestfriend AQ's ex. Hmmm guy got trimmed down and looked better than the last time (later on, AQ would still say he's still not slim enough to warrant a comeback!). Tried to pretend I didn't see him, but there's only so many directions I could turn my head without hurting my neck.
Got bored by the minute, so I started playing with Jeffy's ... uhmm arm, until JT nudged me and whispered something about sleeping with one of the go-go boys dancing right in front of us. I mumbled something like, "Just one? Done those three in front". True, except that those two at the back look eerily familiar as well. Slut. (Yeah, and Sunshine is her usual wallowing-in-despair-don't-wanna-see-people self and Foxy is, I hope, deep in slumber without the popcorns. I wish you were guys, girls. We'll have real fun doing this together! Oh well...)
Jeffy wants to sleep over, I just wanted to sleep. Had one last shot and left with same kids in tow. Ended up with pancakes at Mc Donald's at 5AM.
And the vicious cycle ends where it started. And continues another.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Just another (r)ant
Past midnight.
No food. Saturday night, remember? Dried mangoes and yogurt are all I've got..and instant coffee. That brownie looks suspiciously greenish.
Lots of DVDs. Smallville. GA. QAF. I'd throw one into the player but I've lost command of my limbs.
Went online. Lots of prowlers..hunting. I want to be hunted by just one - gym crush. Missed him. AQ's fault, we missed gym several times this week because he'd taken the bus instead of the MRT. If not for his recent heartbreak I'd be breaking his neck for this.
Spent the day looking for a lamp. A lamp! Can't seem to find the one that looks right.
Also tried looking for a rug. I know where to buy one, gym crush store comes to mind, but back to blaming AQ for all the misses this week.
Felt guilty sending the calling teams together to see The Ant Bully at the last minute, threathening to fire those who'd miss it. Guilty that some of them barely touched the sheets and they'd have to haul their assess to Greenbelt at 1pm. Not guilty for the film choice.
Guilt and hunger - deadly combination.
Went to 7-eleven, got instant noodles. Felt bad the moment I tasted the first strand. Sent SMS to JS asking if he's had lunch - 2am he said. An hour and half and I'll be dead from hunger.
Went to McDo (Greenbelt, where else?). Met up with another set of friends, the kind who's up this hour having fastfood at Greenbelt.
Big Mac looks promising. My weekend isn't. I wish I were an ant. Hell, I am an ant!
No food. Saturday night, remember? Dried mangoes and yogurt are all I've got..and instant coffee. That brownie looks suspiciously greenish.
Lots of DVDs. Smallville. GA. QAF. I'd throw one into the player but I've lost command of my limbs.
Went online. Lots of prowlers..hunting. I want to be hunted by just one - gym crush. Missed him. AQ's fault, we missed gym several times this week because he'd taken the bus instead of the MRT. If not for his recent heartbreak I'd be breaking his neck for this.
Spent the day looking for a lamp. A lamp! Can't seem to find the one that looks right.
Also tried looking for a rug. I know where to buy one, gym crush store comes to mind, but back to blaming AQ for all the misses this week.
Felt guilty sending the calling teams together to see The Ant Bully at the last minute, threathening to fire those who'd miss it. Guilty that some of them barely touched the sheets and they'd have to haul their assess to Greenbelt at 1pm. Not guilty for the film choice.
Guilt and hunger - deadly combination.
Went to 7-eleven, got instant noodles. Felt bad the moment I tasted the first strand. Sent SMS to JS asking if he's had lunch - 2am he said. An hour and half and I'll be dead from hunger.
Went to McDo (Greenbelt, where else?). Met up with another set of friends, the kind who's up this hour having fastfood at Greenbelt.
Big Mac looks promising. My weekend isn't. I wish I were an ant. Hell, I am an ant!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
The break up
I am swearing off games of chance.With AK, I flipped a coin whether to hook up or not. With BS, I flipped another whether to meet his friends over the weekend. I made a bet with Sunshine about not having sex without commitment. I lost, and now, she's making a bet that if and when JS and I get back together, it would last for 3 months tops. I jokingly said I'd give us a month.
Which gets me to thinking - am I foolish to let chance take over my life? I feel that life brought me to where I am now. I certainly believe that the forces of the universe are consipiring to bring me my hearts greatest desires.
I think it's time to get real.
Last night I saw The Breakup featuring Jennifer Aniston with some friends from work. All were bored and didn't like the movie, but stayed until the end anyway.
I liked it. In some ways it reminded me of how JS and I broke up and how we are today - ending up as friends.
We even have regular catch-up dates that would include dinner and movies and sometimes, a few drinks in some bar in Malate. Safe and neutral grounds for us to share news about ourselves without talking about the most intriguing question in our minds - how did we end up here? That last scene is so surreal I swear it is exactly like that whenever JS and I bump into each other somewhere.
Someone once asked me if I believe in this saying:
"When two lovers end up as friends, it is either they are still in love with each other, or they never were."
I haven't formulated an answer yet. One thing I know, I should not call Sunshine's bet despite the telltale signs of me and JS easily slipping back to dating again and seeing each other exclusively.
It would have been so easy; could have been a bit too perfect. One tiny step forward and we're back to where we were before, and my life could be smooth-sailing in the relationship department again. Except for that one llittle tiny voice in my head, repeating the mantra "...or they never were...or they never were."
No more games. No more bets.
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