Search Filter

For people like us, probably the most important question we had to ask a potential partner/lover/one-night-stand is: "Top or bottom?" Funny isn't it, how two adjectives could spell the difference between getting laid and not getting any.

In online dating for PLUs, role preference is almost always a "required field" when creating a profile. Of course, one may opt not to answer this question, particularly those who prefer to keep the cloak of mystery intact (not to mention, to widen the field). But for some, flirting with someone is a total waste of time if their role preference later turns out to be out of sync. Better to keep that out of the way early on. Role preference becomes a search filter in the engine.

It is interesting how we attach these labels to the person and extend it to our perception of him inside and outside the bedroom. For example, tops are viewed to be the dominant partner and hence, the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Same is true for bottoms, considered to be the "weaker" partner and the one wearing the skirt. But do our roles in the bedroom spill out of the door and stain other aspects of our lives as well?

I do not think so. It's one of the pecularities of our lives, that our bedroom roles are just that, roles we play in the bedroom. Just as a wife could be the master of a house, the bottom could be the dominant partner beyond the bedroom door. After all, anybody could be a top, anybody could be a bottom. Surgeons are not strictly top, are they? Theater actors are not always bottom. Policemen (come on), too. The thing is, outside the bedroom roles get reversed, and it is okay.

Numbers

I've always loved numbers. Unlike most people, I wasn't ever intimidated by them. If I could reduce the world and its peculiarities into a set of equations, I would. That's the world I am comfortable in, simple and predictable.

Says a lot about me. I hide behind an air of nonchalance, as if anything determinate is something that shouldn't bother me, oblivious to the common and the ordinary. Some see me as aloof, others are intrigued. Few choose to take the risk and try to peel off the layers I've carefully built around myself, fewer even got close enough. Only one hit the target.

The few friends I have (those who got close enough) wonder why I haven't built relationships instead, go beyond friendship. I tell them it's complicated. That's a lie, of course, the one lie I allow myself to tell my closest friends.

The truth is, I did try to build one. I didn't like what it's coming up to, as I can't reduce it to a set of equations or a single number that tells me the answer is right or wrong. So I held back, withdrew even. I lost something even without owning it.

Lesson learned the hard way...in love and in life, there's no one right or wrong answer. The best you can do is say...it depends.

Does ink get stale?

I would have forgotten about this blog account I've created months ago if not for a blog made by a total stranger who asked me to be an online friend. Intriguing guy. Fall means a lot to me, too, having done a lot of firsts same time last year. Similar season, different reasons to remember.

I've been keeping so many blogs in different hosting sites and it seems nobody is reading them (except for Fridae, of course). Didn't really warm up to the idea of sharing my inner thoughts (naks) to the world, so I do the really mushy and serious stuff the old way - I keep a journal. Been doing that for years - 7 to be exact. (more if you count those school projects, but i digress). Pages & pages of random thoughts. Maybe it's time I share some of it.

I am a traveler, one who keeps getting lost. Always I am a chance passenger, a random walker if you will. Been to places few people would see in their lifetime, mostly because they wouldn't dare go. I am lucky, perhaps I am cursed as well. Most trips I call journeys, but only in retrospect.

I also recently discovered photography..digital that is. Shooting calms me. And that's what I've decided to do here. I'll share my thoughts, no matter how random they are, with my photographs, no matter how common and mediocre they are to some.

It's midnight. A new day. See how aimless my words are? or are they? I'll write more about the photographs in my next entries. Ahh...sleep.