The Last Time

The first time I fell in love was long ago.
I didn't know how to give my love at all.
The next time I settled for what felt so close.
But without romance, you're never gonna fall.

After everything I've learned;
Now it's finally my turn.
This is the last time I'll fall... in love.

The first time we walked under that starry sky,
There was a moment when everything was clear.
I didn't need to ask or even wonder why,
Because each question is answered when your near.

And I'm wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds,
This is the last time I'll fall in love.

Now don't hold back, just let me know.
Could I be moving much too fast or way too slow.
'Cause all of my life, I've waited for this day.
To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I'll never be the same.

You'll never know what it's taken me to say these words.
And now that I've said them, they could never be enough.
As far as I can see, there's only you and only me. This is the last time I'll fall in love.
Last time i'll fall in love.
The last time i'll fall... in love.

Artist: Eric Bennet
Album: Hurricane

Pride

So few.

That's the first thing that came to mind when I saw the end of the Pride March last weekend. It's deflating, to say the least. Here I was, expecting a big crowd, thinking about those Prides I see only on shows like QAF and wishing it's the same here.

I don't know why, but for me, it was a bit disappointing. Not that I wanted everyone to be there (my closest friends bailed out the last minute, with petty excuses that does not even include the weather), but at least I expected more. Well, i had to make the most of it and do what I came here to do (what's left of it) - to shoot pictures of Pride.

My photographs reflected my mood - unsuccessfully capturing the air of the celebration is an understatement. It does not help that as much as most people are looking at some attendees with the interest similar what expectators have on the circus or the zoo, I cannot shake the feeling that I myself am the subject of sharp eyes and wandering minds - what the hell is this guy doing with this group - and the looks are mostly coming from the marchers themselves!

I looked completely out of place, jeans and tanks as straight as an arrow, camera on hand, look of detachment pasted on my face all the time. I could have worn some shirt that says "PRESS" and I'd been almost invisible (almost, because there's not much press around). But that totally negates the point, doesn't it?

I felt out of place. But I stayed anyway.

Here are some scenes of my first ever attendance to a Pride Parade. I hope next time the turnout will be bigger, colorful enough to make the rainbow standout. I hope next time my friends will come. I hope there will be a next time.

'tis the season

I am like most people.

I meant when it comes to having that buoyant feeling when Christmas is approaching. It's probably because I was born and raised strictly Catholic, where every year Christmas is a major, big production. Even now that I'm an agnostic, I still see Christmas as a celebration.

But there's another thing about this season for me, and I don't know if I am like most people in this sense. This time of year, I accumulate stuff and do many new things, too many I barely have time to think before I leap.

New car. More purchases. Breakups. New relationships. New resolutions. New places to visit. Change dentist, change insurer. Stuff that would have big effects on my coming year, I do and decide on them this time without much thinking. It's like I woke up one morning, at the right side of the bed and decided things must change with the year.

Of course, when I say without thinking, it's more like thinking with my instincts on top of my brain. Whatever feels right. No overanalyzing. If it feels right, it must be.

So this time of year, am doing and experiencing things because they all feel right. No need to figure out the reason, for reason comes second to instinct. What feels right, simply is.

I'm going to my first Pride March this weekend.

I'm buying a Fortuner.

I'm changing the sheets (I meant buy new schemes, stuuupeeeed.)

I'm replacing the houseplants.

I'm seeing the tarsiers before Christmas.

I'm spending Christmas with my parents.

I'm saying yes to love and giving it a chance.

Whatever feels right. I figured I'll have the whole year to think about these things, so why think about them now? If I'm lucky, I don't have to, at all. Because what's right, goes on right.

i.concede

In the middle of my QAF marathon, I take a break and write about my first ever visit to Boracay.

Not so long ago, I promised myself two things: one, that I'll never go unless it's expense-less on my part, and two, I will not fall in love with the place the same way I fell in love with other places like San Francisco or Palawan.

The first I was able to keep.

Arrived on the day when typhoon Reming is devastating Bicol. It's the beginning of the high season, a long weekend because of a holiday, and a typhoon is coming. The holiday was planned, the weather wasn't. Still, Boracay kept its promise and, save for a few hours of drenching rain that prevented us from hitting the scene on the first night, everything went remarkably well, almost perfect.

I could get used to this place.

The beach. The people. The shops. The food. Not to mention uh....never mind...gives new meaning to the phrase "the greatest outdoors (blip) ever!"

Couldn't wait to get back, though I can't promise to keep my first promise this time. But maybe, just maybe, I'll fall out of love next time.