me snapped

It is a lengthy argument that shouldn't have happened in the first place, but it did anyway and I suddenly found myself face to face with someone who has already been preparing himself to give up on a big challenge. I can see there's still some fight left in him, but he's ready to walk away. 

If I were my usual self I would have given some nice speech about fighting to the end, about taking one big final breath and an even bigger kick. If I were my usual self I would have given encouragement and possibly even inspiration. 

But I wasn't my usual self. I've argued with myself many times over and giving way seems the honorable thing to do. 

How do I tell him to stay, when like him I am also preparing myself to walk away?

My only hope is that, whatever it is I said to him, words that came from a real understanding of how difficult it is to let go, helped a little to alleviate his pain. Hoping that same words, somehow, will find their way to my ears to alleviate mine.

Silence is all I hear now. That and my own voice saying, sleep on it for now.