No I'm not. Really.
It's just that even if I try not to process the information coming in, like pieces of a puzzle they come together and form patterns that look, well, clear and obvious. So I try to ignore the patterns, but then, when the mossaic's completely shown in front of you, without any effort on your part, it counts for something. You can't keep your eyes shut forever.
I've been lied to. Yeah, somehow I knew all along, but I decided to not keep asking questions and let the matter rest. It gave me some false sense of peace.
Unfortunately, peace is temporary, the illusion shattered by one seemingly honest and innocent remark that started with "Oh, did you know....?" I knew, but as always, I ignored and erred on the side of, well, friendship and trust.
Still, I am a rabbit and I try to keep the peace. I didn't want to probe for fear of disrupting the balance and harmony of my world. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, as they say. It doesn't bother me much, really, as it would have bothered me more if I were the one creating all these webs of lies and deceit. Besides, what would have happened if the truth were told early on? Nothing.
That's not true. I would have appreciated the honesty. I would have applauded the integrity. And more importantly, the truth would have spared me from doubting.
It would have set me free.
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