lost in the ER

I have this standing arrangement with Sunshine, that if and when she has a medical emergency I'd be the first person on her speed dial and I'll be the one to bring her to Makati Med. My one prayer is that this wouldn't ever happen.

I, for one, do not have someone on speed dial for emergencies. The closest candicate would be Darnel, since he'd proven a reliable resource when I have car troubles. Or my brother-in-law. But both live at least an hour away from me, so I am hopeless. Not that my friends wouldn't be rushing to my aid when I call them to, but seriously the ones who can come to me fast enough are either now living farther or, sadly, not easily reached by mobile phone.

Tonight I had to bring my friend Batman, who is suffering from hypertension, to Medical City. Of course, the situation isn't so serious, though scary for me since I really do know what to do if something worse would happen (like her passing out on me). I never really liked hospitals and to be honest, I sucked at taking control of the situation. After dropping her off to the ER I couldn't even find my way to the waiting room, nor the room where they had to keep her while managing her condition. All I am able to do is get out of the basement parking and find a Starbucks near the lobby and wait for her call. I have this crazy idea that you can't use cellular phones inside hospitals as the signal might interfere with life-saving machines, that me making a call to my friend to find her might cause the death of two other patients whose respirators might have stopped working due to interference. Crazy.

As the person on your speed dial for medical emergencies, I know I will suck big time. I don't even know if I could rise to the occassion and provide assistance more than driving you to the ER. When it comes to hospitals, I get all blank and useless. That's why I seldom visit sick friends, and so far the most I was able to do is to visit friends who just gave birth, but even that takes major effort.

Nothing beats asking questions, though it does not help that hospital personnel aren't as friendly as the baristas at Starbucks. They look at you as if you were crazy when you ask them where the waiting room for the ER is. And the guards look at you with suspicion when you have passed their station 3 times and still have no clue where the waiting room is.

Still, some things needed to be done and in these cases, one has to keep a strong will and a stronger heart. It helps that there's the familiar Starbucks. And those marble stools right between the coffeeshop and the hospital lobby. I wonder why they only have 3 tables and 12 chairs at Starbucks here, when there must be scores of people like me who needed to wait but can't bear to stand within 10 meters of a hospital bed?

So I wait, drink on one hand, Blackberry on the other, writing about tonight, observing, trying to absorb it all. Some attendants don't look at all that bad, some even hot if not for the circumstance that is tonight.

All I am waiting for, really, is that signal from Broody to let me know I can now say goodnight. It would be days before we'll see each other, and I am missing him badly. This makes me miss him more, and while I am helping out a friend in need, am ever more wishing to be anywhere but here. I guess I am just not used to this, given that this depressing scene I've almost forgotten: there was a time I spent more time in hospitals than at home, and I'd rather not be reminded of that sad period of my life.

But I think remembering will help me realize how good life had been, how precious my health is. Remembering gives me another chance to look at how far I've come, and how I have been neglecting my health. After all, nobody but my parents expect me to live past grade four. Well, some kids grow out of it, really.

I wish better health for this friend of mine. And for all the people I care about.