Evading St. V

I've got it down to perfection, this ability to "evade" Valentine's day. Why not, it seems most heartbreak episodes occur this time. For me, at least - February is my worst month of the year.

So I've developed my own mechanism to get over this day without much thing happening. I simply do not go out of the house, not even to workout. Days before Valentines I fill up the fridge with food, make sure there's plenty of liquid to hydrate me, and most importantly, I borrow shitloads of DVDs to watch for hours. Doesn't matter if I've seen these movies a couple of times (i.e. Harry Potter series, any sci-fi by Spielberg, even Hannibal will do). Of course, I avoid love stories, would do so at all cost. In short, I disappear from the face of the earth on Valentine's day.

There was a time when I used to celebrate the V day just like everybody else. I was so young then. However, after a few botched attempts at finding love (why do we all think love can happen on this day alone?) I just grew tired of it all and started to believe this day was created as a marketing tool to stimulate spending - just like most special days in the calendar. Blame it on MBA, but this I still believe to the day.

Still, a year ago I made the "mistake" of allowing myself to blink a little and say "yes" to a date on Valentine's day. It's no ordinary date, of course, for it is supposed to be someone's birthday as well (or a celebration of someone's birthday that's two days passed). That it was a romantic dinner for two made it all the more surreal. I can't even begin to imagine how I must have felt that precise moment, when I thought everything was falling into their proper places. Now I can't believe I've fallen for that shit.

Ironic, that the one time I forgot about my aversion to Valentine's day would be the same time that would remind me why I swore off love in the first place - it makes you weak and irrational, and all you get in return is a heady feeling that makes you believe everything is as they should be. In retrospect it doesn't suprise me that the fall was heavier - I was so high I could have been dead and in heaven. I went to hell instead.

I was talking of JL, of course. Even now, I still wonder how I could have been so vulnerable. And gullible.

Now, another Valentine's day. I'll most likely spend it with *blip* (again, that Sunshine thing). Not that I mind us spending it together. But I'll stick to the tried and tested formula of hiding out and staying in, of being in bed all day watching movies, coffee and vodka and all permutations overflowing. This time, though, I won't be alone. I'll be far from being alone, and I love it.

And 'Pre, if you're wondering whether we've also "celebrated" Valentine's day ahead of the crowd, the answer would be...*wink*.

Note on the *blip*:
Loosely interpreted, the initials are the same as the one mentioned above. If it's any consolation, there's a second name, so there should be an "R" at the middle. Any thoughts, Sunshine?