Lunch and what's missing

Two in the morning and my body's about to give up. Mind's already gone, spirit's battered as the day ends. Yes day ends at dawn for me.

Frustrating evening. Tonight's go-live is anything but exciting. Turned up the volume of my Nano to drown the noise from people around me. Am surrounded by people I barely know personally. Ironically, these people represent the very core of what I hoped to achieve, me and a bunch of friends who decided working for ourselves is better than climbing the steep corporate ladder. I wonder if we ended up with the very thing we were trying to avoid?

Am frustrated. Restless. Impatient. All the worst in me seem to be present tonight. This has been boiling under the surface lately, and it's now showing on my skin. Fuse is so short, the air so volatile. Bad for the gander and the goose.

I can't even make time for myself. Haircut's due. Laundry is stinky and it was with great regret that I'd called the laundromat for pickup. Been working our less and less lately, and at times I'm able to go to the gym I can't keep my focus. Ended up over-hydrating, if there's such a thing. And watching gym crush do abs (totally objective process here, I was trying to get workout ideas from him). Gave up yoga for the time being. And dancing, but this one's necessary for me to give up - I'll end up losing more weight if I keep at it.

Which gets me to thinking - what have I been sacrificing to get to where I wanted to be. Are the sacrifices enough? More importantly, is it worth it?

Given up WCE and grad school for the meantime - delaying graduation further.
Haven't seen my family in months, and nowadays it's them visiting me, not the other way around.
Haven't gone out with my friends much, haven't seen Sunshine and Foxy. Can't even keep to my promise that I'll be Sunshine's TonTon buddy.
Good friends are leaving and I'm barely able to attend their despedida parties.
Haven't even talked to my mom and dad in weeks.
Haven't seen my dentist for God knows how long. Ditched my Physical for the year.
Haven't washed my car in weeks! I love it when it rains because everybody gets dirt on their wheels.
Been feeding on microwaved and fast food junk.
Coffee and water taste the same to me.
Haven't read a book in ages.
Worse, haven't taken a photograph at all since middle of this year.

Enough with the whining, though. Time to change and find what's missing.

I love being me.