Of rains and midnight "lunch"

I love this...having "lunch" at a fastfood around midnight. Jollibee. The drizzle turned full-pledged rain by the time my order came, so I ate in instead.

Got to think about stuff I've been pushing at the back of my mind. Like how close I am to failing in my last subject at grad school, finals in a few days and I haven't read a thing. It started when he left, my losing interest with school. Of course, it didn't help that I had a "pansit" for a team. Ahh but I had to see this through, no matter what the outcome will be. I won't quit, not now.

Gym has become more enjoyable since I got Kikopod (my nano). Less distraction from the thump-thump of the runner beside me (or the house music they try to play on Divisoria-sourced sound system). My friend told me I'm actually so aloof at the gym that he wouldn't even try to say hi sometimes. Hmmm..what to do with this perception of not being approachable? Chat with friends near the watering hole? Not my thing, sorry. Ah at least my crush doesn't think I'd bite his head off if he asks to alternate with my machine he he he. Been seeing him for weeks working out alone, is he single again? Ha ha as if I'd do something about this, I am so torpe you could bet a million against me making the first move.

There's another crush, of course. A friend of a friend. See how torpe I am, can't even find the courage to say hi at Friendster, much less ask for his number when we see each other at Greenbelt. And I wouldn't dare tell my friend...long story. Wait...why am I consciously avoiding him by not going to the places I expect him to be in, like Government, despite the invites from well-meaning friends. Just a crush, Kiko...just a crush.

No plans for Holy Week yet; maybe I'd go to San Fernando and document the famous flagellants and crucifixion stuff they do there? I don't like going to the beach at this time, crowd gets to me. Maybe I'll watch DVDs of QAF and OTC and OC instead? Will Greenbelt be open? Will Malate be? Worst case I'll do some work or read Hollinghurst and Michael Thomas Ford novels.

I had to find a new place in Makati, closer to work. I couldn't sleep once the sun is up, so the best thing is to go home before 4am and try to beat the sunrise. QC isn't so bad at all, but with my schedule it's a hassle even if the drive is just 20 minutes from work. I'm so used to the 5-minute walk to work I don't know how long it will take for me to adjust to new realities. Ahh this one I'm pushing further back, won't think about this until school is up.

Someone accused me of being mababaw. I was asked this: "If I were not cute, would you still date me"? I honestly didn't know how to answer this, since I've consciously chosen my dates based on looks first, personality and character came in later (deciding whether to continue seeing someone is driven primarily by whether I liked the personality and character, and "cute" isn't always date-able). So I said whoever it is I am dating (read: seriously seeing) it had to be someone I really liked. I meant that for me to continue seeing someone (and this does not apply to friends), I had to be really interested, not just physically (looks could only get you through a second date, I think) but beyond that (do I need to elaborate?)

Still it irked me that someone would stereotype me as mababaw just because I didn't say I'd date him even if he's not good looking (okay, the term used in the question is ugly). I am a very patient guy, but my fuse is very short against 2 types of people: those know-it-all types, and those holier-than-though types. This time I really lost it and snapped at the guy. No second dates, no matter now cute he is.

When will they ever release the P990i? Can't wait to get my hands on this new gadget. Oh my, forgot to claim my shirt at SPF pala...susko. Been 2 weeks na...and RENT is showing this week but got nobody to see it with. Usual movie buddies suddenly became unreachable. Maybe it's the flu season. Don't want to see it alone. Besides, I feel guilty going to the movies on finals week. No, I'll go see it with someone I could share it with. Sino kaya?

Ooops, gotta beat the sunrise.