Love series

I have always dreamed that it exists, and when love finally happens, it will come swiftly and without warning. It will happen at first sight. And it will last forever.

That it didn't happen at first sight is something I can easily accept; it's just the icing on the cake and I can live without it. What surprised me is how long it took for me to recognize love for what it is, how much time I spent weighing my options. Apparently too much. By the time I made up my mind to open my heart and love again, it was gone.

Love won't wait. I can vaguely remember the lyrics of the song but I wouldn't have been surprised if it's the one playing on the radio when he told me there's someone else, someone who filled the void in him while I was taking my own sweet time playing the game.

"What were you doing in November?" he asked, his voice filled with something akin to pain. Loaded question, a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't type. Checkmate. No matter how I answer this, I'm doomed. I decided to take the road called honesty.

Honesty can take you to places you never thought existed. In my case, hell and despair. It doesn't matter anyhow, not anymore.

In the end I told him I will miss him a lot. And that I am sorry I messed this one up for both of us. In my mind I said goodbye.

Truth is, there's so much more I wanted to say. That in November I wasn't planning on settling down, and I was certainly not planning on falling in love. But I did. With him. But it doesn't matter anymore.

The morning after, I found these texts on my SMS viewer:

"You can't finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to move on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure nor won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering, growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when we need to hold on and holding on when we need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us more than we can love ourselves."

I promised myself when the time comes, I will know when to hold on, and when to let go.